I didn’t mention it at the time, largely as I was unbelievably nervous, but a couple of weeks ago I did a talk for the Lancaster Photographic Society. Christian, the programme co-ordinator is an old friend of mine. In fact, I met him when he first started dating my friend Kerstin eight years ago. In turn, I met Kerstin through the old Bowlie forum back in the day – an online indie pop hangout extraordinaire it was. Sadly no trace remains of the forum, though there’s still a flickr group containing some very embarrassing meet-up pics! But that’s another story. Well…sort of. More on that in a mo. Anyway, Christian asked me to talk about something that I was passionate about, so I essentially talked about my job. I encouraged people to ask questions and chat with me so that it was more of a natter with fellow photographers as I prefer things to be informal and friendly and the thought of an actual all attention on me presentation filled me with fear. I covered how important I think it is to feel a connection with my clients, to understand them as a couple and know how to get the best from them and give them back what they want to see. It was actually really good fun, even though I was shaking with nerves throughout. They’re a really lovely group of photographers and, much to my surprise, there was a particularly lovely couple there called Charlotte and Tom. Charlotte and Tom are getting married next year and booked me quite a while ago, actually. It was so lovely to meet them in real life and have a lovely natter. I can already tell we’re going to have a lot of fun when the time comes!

Back to the talk itself though… When I started preparing for it, I decided to mention my origins as a wedding photographer. How I came to shoot weddings and the time spent building up my experience and indeed portfolio with other pro photographers. I took a look back through my archives and thought about the progression from hobby to business. I thought about those really early days snapping away constantly whenever I was at a gig or a party. I always had a camera on me and have albums full of drunken pictures to remind me. And thanks to another friend made on Bowlie, the lovely Kristin of Struve Photography, I decided to buy my first DSLR. We’d just come back from a wee holiday in France with her parents and I had been rather enamored with her kit, so I treated myself. And I haven’t looked back since. Before long I was getting the hang of things and taking pics at gigs for a local fanzine (getting to go to gigs free – winner). It was ace. But I wanted to learn more. MORE!

Another Bowlie had started a project on flickr and I watched her skills develop and thought, I’m gonna try that. The project was called “365 days” and involved taking a self-portrait every day for a year. I figured the challenge would be to make an interesting picture every day when the subject is essentially the same. In reality, the challenge was taking any photos at all on days when I felt or looked like crap. But, I did it. In fact…I did it several times. Two full years and one inbetween where I stopped just short because I needed a break for a month or so. And you know what – I met some AMAZING people through it and I learnt absolutely LOADS. I started a fourth set in 2011 whilst I was traveling but lost my way with it once I got back to the UK and started to focus on making my business work. There are images from my first and that final set below. One of my favourite things about the project, aside from learning how to take pictures, was learning to accept what I look like. For years I had hated photos of myself. For no real reason, I just hated them. But when you’ve seen THAT MANY shots of yourself (and I’m talking rather a lot of bad ones for every good one) you just kinda accept yourself. You learn about lighting and holding yourself better (for self-portraits and other people’s photos) and most importantly you get the hang of acknowledging what is a good picture and what is a bad picture without taking it personally. I stopped worrying about looking good as a model (am I not pretty enough?) and started caring as a photographer (I can make my tummy look flatter/nose look less crooked/eyes look prettier if I do this) which was way more positive. I also found myself trying to tell more of a story with my images. Not sure how well that worked out…

In addition to taking self-portraits (I wasn’t completely vain, honest) I joined a few other groups on flickr offering daily and weekly challenges that I thought would help to stimulate my photographic learning. And looking back through those old pics, I was pleasantly surprised to see some very familiar composition and style. No matter what I learn, I hope I’ll always shoot this way. It seems to be very true to who I am and how I see the world. I experimented with through the viewfinder, film and various toy cameras. I even got sent a Blackbird Fly and five rolls of film by the toy camera’s developers – they used the images I took in their early marketing campaigns. I think that was when the first flickr of hope ignited. When I first thought that pursuing photography as more than just a hobby maybe was a possibility.

I was too scared to attempt to pursue my dreams for a long time though. Instead, I sold my flat and quit my old career to go traveling. And that’s where the magic happened. I fell so deeply in love with photography (and the new kit that I treated myself to) and I knew I no longer had anything to lose. Instead of trying to find a job straight away, I’d see if there was any possibility of building myself a wedding photography career. If it failed, I’d look for a normal job after all. But there was no harm in trying. And I spent my months in Asia not only soaking up the amazing sights, sounds, smells and tastes (I miss it so badly sometimes) but also working towards a goal. Starting in Feb 2011, I designed my branding, built my website, read as much as I could and networked like crazy so that when I returned to the UK I was able to hit the ground running. It was exciting and I had never felt more alive. Two years on…I still feel that excitement about LifeLine Photography. When I think about how far I’ve come, the wonderful people I’ve met, the incredible weddings I get to photography…and the fact that I now have a job that I am 100% passionate about and would not change for the world.

Of course, I also get bloody excited when I think back to that time spent in Asia too. The Himalayan trekking, the bustling Asian cities, the wildlife, the food, the beaches…oh the beaches. My next goal is to go back and do some of that again! I deserve it, right?

This post was brought to you by Kasey Chambers – Not Pretty Enough